Saturday, April 8, 2017

Descent 2nd Edition: The Ballad of Tomble Burrowell

Gather round once again young 'uns, and here tell the tall tales of the not so tall Tom Burrowell. When we last left our hero, he was nursing several nasty perforations, and wincing with every step down the stairwell into Rellegar's rest. Yep, once again the bumbling big-folk had conspired to undo his careful planning. Consequently, they were at risk of this little jaunt underground being a net-loss endeavour. Evil Overlord Ben had set things up so we had to plowmthrough Zombies to our front... while dealing with constant rear attacks by goblins. All the while, his self immolating, teleporting, Evil-Overlord Avatar could race about hacking down the support pillars.  This would sadly bring the roof down on our heads. Our hero felt it appropriate to call tea-break and strategy sesssion, perhaps followed by a rearward advance out of this obvious death trap. But the big folk just charged down the stairs, heedless...

It sure was impressive how Leoric of the book could clear a room of goblins. He looks a little pale though, like he wouldn't be able to pull that off again in a hurry. I sure hope they wouldn't keep coming after we... Nope there we go, he's knocked down with a goblin arrow in the back. I make him a cup of tea, and we enjoy the relaxing sight of Alaric Axe-Theif charging off alone to grab the treasure we all came here for. 

The Evil-Overlord-Avatar quickly turned Alaric's actions into a race against the clock. He teleported in, laid waste to all about him with a fire spell, then barked at some minions to go searching out a precious and very valuable sounding magical staff. Leoric seems to have matters well in hand here... no whoops there he goes down again... Oh well, hopefully Alaric Axe-thief can revive him on the headlong run back out of this place. Wait, it's ok he's up... no down again. Now our Hero Tomble Burrowell didn't have time for sleeping on the job, he had a sneaky ploy in mind. 

He just had to rummmage through the treasures in the South corridor, snag the staff of light, then hopefully get another treasure to teleport home. Things were going well, the screams of pain and battle from the bumbling big-folk seemed to have created ample diversion, and Tomble had the staff. Then he remembered the overlord had also sent some minions this way. Thunk-thunk. Black fletched goblin arrows knocked him down. When he came to, the place was already crumbling and he had the choice of lightening his load by dropping the food supplies or abandoning the newly rechristened Staff of Shadows to the growing forces of Evil. Well, a gentleman at large mustn't skip meals, babysitting big-folk is hungry work. 

Tomble made it to the surface and dusted himself off. He was glad he had saved lunch as apparently they had a long journey to fight the evil Baron at a tower to the east. Hopefully the arsenal of powerful magics their foes were amassing wouldn't cause the end of the world before they got there. 

This tower was apparently some sort of two-level evil-laboratory. As they drew their weapons to confront giant spiders and chase down goblins (in the thrall of a Vampiress!) Tomble felt in his belly something had gone very wrong with their priorities. Why weren't they raiding a well stocked kitchen or perhaps storming a five star Tavern to steal away their feather beds, Ale, and delicious meat pies? No just more dungeon delving, cleaning off the ichor from dead spiders and trying to firebomb a Vampire before she drank their blood. 

According to Leoric, we all needed to grab philtors of some mysterious liquid before the forces of evil. This was going to take determination, bravery, grit and... well scurrilous rumours that Tomble may have broken all gentlemen-burglars guild rules and crept BETWEEN two walls are pure fabrications. Tomble legitimately got from one room, round two corridors, and into another by running. No matter, they had their philtors, the Vampiress was vanquished, and for some reason they were headed down to more dangers. 

That's right dear reader, the mad Barons laboratory, guarded by yet more goblins, some three armed fleshy-freaks, and a giant Shadow Dragon. It must have been born down here as it seemed a tad large for the doorways. Our hero bade his rash companions take care, as it were rumoured the mad baron sought to experiment upon adventurers to further his evil plans. However, the foolish Leoric somehow was persuaded to wander forward and engage that Drsgon and the Baron both! Meanwhile, Tomble was expertly dispatching goblins, using a small stepladder and a Longbow. However, he realised he better come to Leoric's aid. Well, this was progress at least as the Mage was moving about and not lying down on the job. 

Through good planning, ingenuity, pluck, bravery, forethought, decisiveness, and so on, Tomble Burrowell saved Leoric from being eaten by that dragon. For how else could he have survived it's snapping jaws and the barrage of magical and diabolical attacks from the demented Baron? 

Foiled so handily, the Baron didn't seem to put up much fight. Ha! As if the bounderish cad stood a chance against Thom Burrowell, gentleman at large and famed longbow specialist. All in all, it was a good job, marred only by an inattention to treasure collection, bordering on the criminal. Still, once they were all back in town enjoying many a days shopping, and many a nights corousing, Thom was content. 

But why were the foolish big folk packing their travel packs? Guys, we don't need those trail rations for another day at the Bazaar of magical weapons. They have stalls and we can eat out. Guys? That's the way to the town gate.  The Inn and marketplace are back that way....

Looks like Tomble is needed to save the world once more. 

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